This goes a bit complicated especially when you’re near your 30’s, though age is just a number (for some), I think there’s still a lot of expectations.
There will come a time when you will feel pressured and obliged to rush things with your partner because of the feeling of love.
Being in love can be considered as one of the best feelings someone could ever have. But remember, love is something that only God can explain; it’s something vague that goes beyond human comprehension.
Jesus Christ died on the cross because of love. When He obediently followed God, He was patient and waited for the perfect time to do what God the Father wanted Him to do. That goes for all of us; you can’t force time to give us what we want, what we need and to make us happy in just a snap.
There are situations that I feel sad because of the reality that I can’t be with my loved one due to the fact that I need to focus on the big things in my life especially my job. And with my age too, I am not too old, but I am not too young either.
I’ve been counting the days in the calendar hoping that one day everything will be all good and I’ll get married soon enough. I’ll have my own family, travel together, get a dog, hold the hands of my future kids, cook for them, pack goodies for the sleepover, and prepare food for camping and other good things that I can think of.
But then I realized people like me live to wait for that day without living the life God wanted me to live.
I’ve been through rough edges – I didn’t get the chance to live the good life, never had the best treatment in the world but I am proud to say that made me who I am today. But also because of those things, I got excited to have my own family, relive the past and do my best to change it according to how I wanted it to be. Now, I’m rushing things, I wanted to do what’s needed to be done so I can be with the person I’m in love with and be happy!
I go to work with the mentality that one day everything will work out for the better. I’ve even set a game plan on what we need to do this year, the next year, and years after up until the time we get married– which is a good thing of course, but I got obsessed with the idea which gotten worse over time.
And that’s when I realized that yes, I am in love but I’m not focused with what I want in this life – that’s because I am rushing things and pressured with everyone around me.
I need to focus on God, myself, my family, my friends, and my job. I need to wait for the plans God has for me and my future.
I got to focus more on doing what needs to be done and be patient on what God has prepared for me. I got to learn to live my life as if it’s the last but RIGHT. I got to give glory to the Lord by introducing Him to the world by doing His will and loving myself, family and friends (dogs too.)
I need to go to work with the mentality that I need to do it for myself so I can be a blessing to others and grow individually as well. I got to stop counting the days and cherish each moment of every day like a photograph fading away because of time.
I’ve got to focus on loving myself more and be glad that God gave me the chance to live this life so I can be better when the right time comes. I think He’s been always there telling me “rushing things won’t bring you anywhere, focus on me and I will take you there.”
To my future partner,
I thank you for always being there for me and always loving me. Thank you for all the support, hugs and kisses that I’ve always needed, for helping me get past through the tough days of my life. You will always be my one and forever. Time might not be ready for us but we will be when it comes. I will be ready, for you and our future family.
Improbable Roads 